Spectrum Ten for Windows

“10 Sinclair Spectrum Retro Games” the Spectrum Ten DVD case inlay boasts, along with a montage of screenshots. And on flipping the box over, that blurb goes on to add that they’re “original game files and emulator included fun classic games many number 1 selling hits back in the day” (sic). This horrific lack of punctuation (which is even worse than my first drafts) is pretty much representative of the presentation throughout Spectrum Ten, it’s generally poor across the board. The CD itself is barren (since all of the files occupy a miniscule 2.8Mb of disk space) and the autoplay merely fires up the installer for the Retro Soft branded Spectrum emulator. After that, users are pretty much left to their own devices and since getting a game running from the default state involves attaching the tape image, then pressing the J key and then control and P twice to get LOAD”" it’s all very authentic (and fine for people like myself who already knew the process) but hardly user friendly. Again, the lack of any instructions on the inlay to explain that process is a serious issue and the blurb describing it as “simple to operate” is a whopper up there with Bill Clinton saying he didn’t inhale or the small print on insurance policies!

Spectrum Ten - playing Chopper Mission

The constant use of the word “retro” all over the box is also questionable to be honest because even if I’m being generous only three of the ten licensed games included were actually released during the Spectrum’s commercial lifespan; a 3D shoot ‘em up called Deathscape, Red L.E.D. offering some Marble Madness style isometric action and the Airwolf inspired Chopper Command just about sneaks in as a commercial title since it was at least published in Your Sinclair as a type-in listing. The remaining seven are a pretty mixed bag; Green Light, Hang The Man and Lunar Cargo 2 are all relatively recent and uninteresting BASIC games and, whilst Area 51, Grand Prix Drivers, Vigilante Patrol and the rather surreal Loco Bingo are a far better prospect, the fact that most of these titles were released after the start of the new millennium draws a large question mark over their retro credentials as well.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’ve reviewed Loco Bingo elsewhere and, despite having a couple of reservations, it’s a typical Jonathan Cauldwell game (you control a sentient train that has to marshal numbered trucks made from a highly unstable material into oblivion in the correct order to win at televised bingo… no I’m honestly not making this up!) and that’s never a bad thing. His other contributions are at least fun in the short term but, whilst they’re enjoyable, calling this a collection of classics is pushing the envelope so far that the stamp is in danger of falling off. It needs titles like Manic Miner or Jet Set Willy (even if Area 51 does a passing impression), some of the Ultimate titles (even if it’s the early ones like Cookie or the excellent Jetpac) or Horace Goes Skiing, games that the average thirty-something reminiscing about their youth will actually remember playing.

Spectrum Ten - playing Area 51 and G.P. Racers

What Spectrum Ten eventually reduces down to is three good, four average and three rubbish BASIC efforts, all bundled together with a badly flawed Spectrum emulator; the sound output is distorted and playing Red L.E.D. is all but guaranteed to cause the emulator itself to crash and burn before even one level can be played through. Considering what could have been included on a disc with over 600Mb of free space available (such as scanned cassette inlays, a decent menu-driven front end to make using the games easier, an emulator that didn’t break on one of the games provided or even a half decent read me file that explained how to get things loading in the first bloody place) this package is a major let down on a pretty much every front. If it’s on sale at pound shop prices, it’s worth getting for the Jonathan Cauldwell games (use a decent emulator like Spin or Spectaculator to run them) but don’t bother getting it if you’re trying to revisit your youth.